EDIT BUT NOT CENSORED
day, oh who cares... and yes this is my second blog today. So.. are you judging me? Ha. I have a lot of times on my hands and i would like it to be occupied but i have no biters (i wish i had a biter or at least a nibble here and there). So, so after a short conversation with an high school x--and a lengthy one with my high school bff.. i am back from the gym sitting on my chaise/ sectional couch...ALONE. The gym was great. I ran. Lifted. Checked some guys out...BOY to i love men that work out and their bodies are so tight.. it makes me SCREAM. I admit that i went there because i wanted to see some men..who cares about the work out... It is hard (ha) doing this or lack of there. I am so use to having what i want when i want it... (shh) as many times as i want it..for the past..GOOD GOD 4 years. So as i sit here on the couch... i turn to this. Fuck i don't have cable because i would be laying on the couch doing nothing but thinking..thinking... The only urge in me is to text NAMELESS...but i don't want to. i want to be over with that.. i think. But but butt butt... Oh my mind... I think if i had money and like to drink... i would be DRUNK OF MY...DIAMONDS ON MY NECK PATRON IN MY CUP IF YOU WANT IT COME IT GET IT.... OH MY MIND.

You know i am just talking about eating some cheesecake right! Damn, I love cheesecake

I BLOG BECAUSE I SCREAM WAY TOO LOUD ( for that cheesecake..damn y'all get your heads (ha) out of the gutters)
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In the wrong area... needing all

So I am back in Indy..the visit with my father was..um, awkward. I enjoyed myself. We saw the Soloist, good movie. I think i heard Van snoring through some of it. We got gas, he paid, we got food, he paid. And my favorite, we got Cheesecake, he paid. Aww...child support for an adult. I laugh at myself. He wanted to take me to the mall but i was sick of driving and it was 8:45p when he decided to do that. I think deep down he actually knew it was closed just wanted to... have something to say. I don't know.

You know while i was getting myself lost in Chicago, i noticed that my Car, which name is MICK, told me that the gas was getting low. Not like " Hey ma'am your gas is low" Like "BEEP BEEP"...well i think you get the point. So on one of my wrong turns i took, it said like 30 miles til empty. Now 30 miles in rush hour is not much at all. All the stop and go traffic. Anyho... the detour that Fransicso took me on lead to me the ghetto. I am talking ghetto. Where i was concerned in my car.. who know what would have happened if i got out of the car..So i didn't get gas... i continued with the detour..if i ran out of gas.. i guess i would have just sat there waiting on someone to get there. Who would i have called in a city where i know so few? Probably my mother..it would have taken her 3 hours to get there? My father..he flew in... interesting... Maybe i should stop next time?

On the way back, I wanted a (aw.. here we go).. five dollar foot long..(any any). So i looked on Fransisco for the nearest one.. without backtracking or getting to far off the highway. The first one i stopped at was (keyword..ha) WHITES ONLY SANDWICHES. (thanks Pooh and thanks LIFE the movie). I pulled up, anticipating..my sandwich and everyone's eyes seem to be on me. everyones white eyes... so i put my seatbelt back on and headed to the next subway where it look like they knew that we had overcame and had a black president. Yes, that was 30 miles up the road, but it was worth the way. And i ate the entire thing. First time ever eating that much.. hopefully it goes to my boobs not my butt or thighs.

While driving, i heard this song that i seem to get out of my head. Its called HER HEART by Anthony Hamilton.. there is a part where he sings

"And as you cried in my arms
You woke up my heart
And I saw again what I found in you"

On the way down i listened to it a million times and i cried for about 30 mins straight. I used to have this feelings, i love when i have these feelings and someone use to have these feelings for me. I didn't cry because he said cried in my arms. I cried because the YOU WOKE UP MY HEART.. yeah it is a love song but i took it to you woke up my heart showing your true self to me and i saw again what i found in you that i needed to let go. if that makes any sense. Its a great song. I don't think it matters if you let so first but i am going to one up you and let go more. TELL THAT (ha)


I BLOG BECAUSE I GET LOST IF I DIDN'T
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