to fly

PRETTY WINGS

(BROWN ARE THE LYRICS PURPLE ARE MY COMMENTS)

Time will bring the real end of our trial (I think we are over..for good)
One day there'll be no remnants, no trace, (the scars that you have left on my heart will be healed by someone else)
No residual feelings within you
One day you won't remember me. (you will remember what you used to have and wonder what you did wrong)





Your face will be the reason I smile (happiness for letting go so something that only made me stronger in life and love)
But I will not see what I cannot have forever
I'll always love you. (You have taught me so much about myself, so much that i loved the way that i was, and will continue being me)
I hope you feel the same.







Oh, you played me dirty, your game was so bad (you're game was chess and was trying to be a piece..where i need to be the Player)
You toyed with my affliction
Had to fill out my prescription for the remedy
I had to set you free. (Free to do what you will, we are removed from one another)






Away from me
To see clearly (i am still learning how to do this)
The way that love can be
when you are not with me (I will love again, without you...
I had to lead
I had to live
I had to leave
I had to love (my 4 favorite lines in this song)






If I can't have you
Let love set you free (free..removed...please use those words interchangeable...I wonder if i would ever be in your arms again, but then i remember your words and your harmful touch and i am free to love anyone else)
To fly your pretty wings around.

Pretty wings, your pretty wings,
yourPretty wings. Pretty wings around.






I came wrong you were right
Transformed your love into like. (from you hiding your true feelings about what you felt about us...made my love for you disappear and sooner or later so did you. You changed into someone i didn't want to be with anymore. But i wanted to be in a relationship. I wanted it to work..I pushed and pushed)
Baby believe me, I'm sorry I told you lies.
I turned day into night
Sleep till I die a thousand times
Ah, I should've showed you
Better nights, better times
Better days, and I miss you more and more (You showed me a lot about myself and what i deserve, the only thing i am missing now is that guy that can treat me the way you once did. Did in the beginning. And you know as days turn in to weeks.. i don't care anymore. I am happy. I got my friends and my family. And I will be okay)






If I can't have you
Let love set you free
To fly your pretty wings around.






Pretty wings, your pretty wings, yourPretty wings.
Pretty wings around.Pretty wings, your pretty wings,
your Pretty wings. Pretty wings around.





-Maxwell









This song has become a coping song for me...I am learning. I am letting go...







I BLOG BECAUSE IT HELPS ME COPE

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breaking news

So, i ran into you the other day..and when i mean ran into..you asked if you could come over. I said yeah. I sat in my dining room and you sat on the couch. I was uncomfortable. I was waiting you to leave. Yeah, i made my bed, but not for you to lay in and did my dishes not for you to use and cleaned my bathroom but not for you to use.. I just needed to and i a wanted it to look a certain way...I don't think i consciously did it for you but i don't know. But i am happy that you didn't stay and that my place is semi clean now.


You did hug me when you left..and honestly i started crying.. you held me longer than you should have and i could feel me hands didn't want to let so i held on as long as you did. But honestly when you felt your hands let go..it was like.... um.. a release. I was ready. I don't look at you the same way that i did. To be honest, i could jump anyone's bones if i wanted to but that is not that what i am looking for... I think i can breathe! Sigh! Breathe easier.


Do i think i will relapse? No, I won't let myself

Do i think i will cry? Yes, until i can't anymore

But i will keep myself busy and not think i am less than what i am. Or deserve the BS that you served me..BECAUSE I CAN DO BETTER THAN YOU AND WILL DO BETTER THAN YOU.

---and sorry about the d*ck comment..i heard they can sew those things back on...

---and please lose my mothers phone number, you don't need to wish her a happy mothers day because the words that she has for you don't start with happy but probably involved muthaf---


I BLOG BECAUSE MY RANDOM THOUGHTS ARE SO RANDOM
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